dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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