I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
