Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
