I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
