in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
BRING THE BAGELS
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
