Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
