We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
