At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
