I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
