you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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