Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
