went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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