I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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