all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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