You just made me feel so damn special
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
