I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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