Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
that is very illegal...i love you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
