Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
