I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
