Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
