this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
