I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
