We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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