Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
