p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
