Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
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