3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
