I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
