just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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