All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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