You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
