I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
