I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
