Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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