Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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