apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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