If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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