It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
