I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
