if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My dick has a subreddit
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We need to get me chipped asap
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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