i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
