They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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