Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
