That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
