I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
