If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
