He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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