You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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