Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
