Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
