chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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