doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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