I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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