that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
