pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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