after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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