Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
