their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize